If you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to choose between me and another. DO NOT FUCKING CHOOSE ME.
I know I'm trash most of the fucking time, but I still know my worth. AND I AM SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST A FUCKING OPTION. I have always been second or third or last. I've NEVER been anyone's priority. And good God, I thought this time will be fucking different.
This is just one fucking time but the fact that you thought that I was making you choose? WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK? There shouldn't be any choices in the first place! And I'm not asking you to choose me, if ever. DON'T.
I'm sorry if I am putting you in a hard place but I expected that you'd at least be there with me, This is just one time but the fact that you really made me feel like it's my fault that you have not been spending time with them was really offensive. Hey, sorry if you can't be with them all the damn time because of me. Sorry if I take too much of your time for you to be with them. They're my friends, yes. But you really made me feel like I'm one of your options and god damn it, it felt horrible!
(Shet putangina sobrang nakakagalit?? di ko ma-explain exactly yung nafi--feel ko right now pero tangina i need to chill kasi galit ako right now and i might regret something na mait-type ko or magawa ko but fucking hell this is the fuckinng worst ayoko ng ganito tangina)
Friday, April 28, 2017
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
11th of April
Have you ever seen a ghost?
The kind that doesn't scare you but when you saw it you just stood there, staring at it and nothing was coming to your mind except the sight that was right in front of you.
I felt that. Except, it wasn't a ghost. It was a person.
They said that when you see someone from your past, it's kinda like seeing a ghost, especially when you haven't seen that person for a very long time.
2 years. I didn't see him for 2 years. It was like the thought of an apparition, I was scared to see him at first. I was afraid it might bring back the stupid feelings I had. I was afraid that it might still be him. After all these time.
You see, when I caught a glimpse of you, my feet refused to walk, my whole body just stopped. 2 years. I haven't seen that face in 2 years and there you are, in front of me.
And then, you smiled.
That smile captivated me before but surprisingly this time, there weren't these grand feelings that usually came with it. The animals in the zoo stayed in their cages. No butterfly escaped. And then, my body started to move.
We talked. But there were no light and soft backgrounds while you were talking. I was even drunk that time!
All I can say now is that your ghost will no longer haunt me. The ghost of my feelings have finally rest and I am finally free. I am free of the suffocating grip of unrequited love.
Because, after years and years of drowning in the wrong sea, I have finally learned to swim back to the shore where someone is ready to hold me and not let me drown.
The kind that doesn't scare you but when you saw it you just stood there, staring at it and nothing was coming to your mind except the sight that was right in front of you.
I felt that. Except, it wasn't a ghost. It was a person.
They said that when you see someone from your past, it's kinda like seeing a ghost, especially when you haven't seen that person for a very long time.
2 years. I didn't see him for 2 years. It was like the thought of an apparition, I was scared to see him at first. I was afraid it might bring back the stupid feelings I had. I was afraid that it might still be him. After all these time.
You see, when I caught a glimpse of you, my feet refused to walk, my whole body just stopped. 2 years. I haven't seen that face in 2 years and there you are, in front of me.
And then, you smiled.
That smile captivated me before but surprisingly this time, there weren't these grand feelings that usually came with it. The animals in the zoo stayed in their cages. No butterfly escaped. And then, my body started to move.
We talked. But there were no light and soft backgrounds while you were talking. I was even drunk that time!
All I can say now is that your ghost will no longer haunt me. The ghost of my feelings have finally rest and I am finally free. I am free of the suffocating grip of unrequited love.
Because, after years and years of drowning in the wrong sea, I have finally learned to swim back to the shore where someone is ready to hold me and not let me drown.
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